F-Cookie / 2.16.17

Thursday, February 16th

What's the best way to get a fortune cookie custom-made with explatives in the fortune?  It's tougher than you may think!


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

There is supposedly a restaurant somewhere in California Chinese restaurant. Where when you're done with your meal the owners grandmother comes out to your table and then she looks in your tea leaves. And makes he notes in Chinese on her little tablet and goes back to the kitchen. And the waiter comes at a few minutes later with your fortune cookies which are made right Daryn fresh and fold it. Inside the cookies are handwritten fortunes created especially for you based on the grandmothers beverage scrawny and whether there anymore true or not. Oh process makes them seem more possible and likely to be fortunes which is why he said Carol. Who is one of the people who swore to the existence of this restaurant. The when you've got one that was even a little bit negative could just really freak you out and ruin your whole day. And sometimes there would be fortunes that were really cryptic like grave danger awaits you behind the face of a trusted friend tomorrow so. Kara had gone actually into the restaurant she knew people who had. Which was the same with other Californians to verify the restaurant of prophetic cookies making me wonder if it wasn't. And urban myth. My friend Ramon cannot. Both subscribers to the same series of educational magazines ranger Rick frequent contact cricket and National Geographic kids. Our moms work it library together decided when we were about ten or eleven. That we would make our own fortune cookies via a recipe in one of those magazines. Capping off a riveting article journey through a cookie factory. As well as tidbits about how fortune cookies were not invented in 1960 San Francisco. As popularly claimed that brother had been around since screaming dynasty fourteenth or fifteenth century China. Secret battle information was passed from soldier to soldier hidden inside flak folded Lotus nut cakes. They're by outweigh the Indian paint invading mongols simply because models didn't like Lotus knots. First we rode out tons of fortunes on strips of paper. Chuckling away as would picture the faces of our unsuspecting friends and family members when they read such witty woody fortune says you smell always have cooked. A great feast of bloggers awaits you. You have pressed the fart and other such 1110. Year old new slippers fortunately he's actually very easy to make. You mixed together three egg whites three quarters cup sugar a pinch of salt half cup melted butter a little Vanilla almond extract. One or two teaspoons of instant tea powder that's kind of the secret and two tablespoons water. You chill that and then one or two cookies at a time drop a spoonful on increased she spread it out flat with the back of the spoon. They can for five minutes in really quickly let the fortune across the middle folded in half in the fold the two points of the half. Together across the planet and put him in a little copper muffin pan the problem is. There is no way not to burn your fingers also you have to work superfast the cookie hardens immediately and breaks his youthful. You also have to keep cleaning and re Greece in the cookie sheet and overall a lot more work than prankster fun. Ramon and I had two more problems with their backs and those work. We had written our fortunes in pencil and decrease from the cookies render the paper translucent and readable so our skating barbs were lost forever also. We did not know what instant tea Mets never having had it. So we tore open tea bags in it two tablespoons of that which gave our cookies just been dipped in compost quality. The best personalized fortune would be one you found in a professionally made cookie it better to surprise the owner. So years ago I would answer to places that would do it there are a lot but a lot of them were so expensive like a dollar 25 a cookie. For which price the fortune better read you are full to pay so much for Turkey. Selling aired on the listen called the finalists with one question for each that question being and there was a reason for it at the time. Can't once personalized messages include profanity. First I went to in India Indianapolis based and some obviously named fortune cookies on line. This was a sneaky company. Because I want to many other similar web links thinking I was getting something different but I would be back at the same fortune cookies online. Again and again the website had many exclamation points. And mildly disturbing descriptions they're different flavors of cookie such as mighty meant inhalants say off. Read the caption next to break blue green cookie after one bite of these green mixed fortune could eagle with a cool your benefits delete your mouth feeling cool. Marry him. There were other flavors to like cappuccino which invited to do enjoy the rich rich flavor of Italy via your Chinese fortune cookie. The owner of the company then I was Mike Fries and he was all over the web site he was featured holding out a cookie and looking like a tool. Clicking on the phrase which I invented. Connected you with one of fried ice press release releases which featured. The Foley Caucasian Mike in a great big Chinese traditional hat. As well as the information that in addition to be in a cookie guy he was better known as happy the hobo on a Fort Wayne, Indiana local kids show. So I called of that company in a woman answered I'm interested I said in orderly ordering some personal ice fortune cookies is like a joke kind of on for friends party and has wondering can you have the fortunes say anything or is their restriction on certain words. Well it has to be able to sit on the fortune the woman inform me no I mean I said can you use like profanity. There was silence an apparent. Lo and sent. Low the un cleared her throat. Well now she's a decidedly less friendly how profane or talking beer do you mean I think where you add in bed at the end of the fortune. No I told her let's just say very profane but it would be for a limited group of people who would. On not mind like I children see them or anything like that she thought it over for a long. Time. I'm gonna have to check she said that after another long no hold music on she came back. We can consider she said doing the S word or the okay thank god that hung up in an enemy what's you word. Next up was company out of Maryland. I gave the same steel. To that woman answered by certain words she said you mean. We note my profanity and said I am yeah. Archie shouted and hung up the phone. That company did not content profane. Onto the next. That was a company at a Texas I had high hopes for that one mainly because they were one of the only companies that let you buy just a dozen or so cookies. Instead of the normal double order for about a hundred it was cheap. You can get twelve could ease with twelve different messages for twenty bucks at the time. On twelve to six different for ten and ten or twelve with the same message for eight. Or you can get one giant giant cookie with a really filthy long message for fifteen dollars. I got an answering machine which informing you that. The company had taken the day off to celebrate the winning of Florida's electoral college and I should leave a message and they would call back. I tried to think of how to rephrase my request for the F word in a great big giant Texas sized cookie. But I panicked under the pressure. The next was based out of San Francisco on how to hold detailed section cast a wider company cookies were better than certain others. We don't like to frighten our customers like whatever competitor status of the sample statement. I called the number and I reach JoAnne. F word just him. On mine and own and then he would be for a small group of adults only I assure her. She said. As a them as an or is not to tip. Adjective I guess I set. Oh goodness up to check on this coming back in one hour she asked. So I called back and ask for JoAnne. Summer break is is and the totally identical sounding woman who obviously was JoAnne told me and I helped you gave the whole routine. Well she said be using the floor doesn't block. I guess they said not sure how to make a difference that mine is not a question like. I'm going to have to ask the manager she said put the phone down but not on hold as I could hear people talking in the background. A third woman came on. This is JoAnne she said you have a question regarding the affording a cookie. Now I ask how many you'll beat me at Ford now I I need to tell you this was not the same JoAnne I talk to you before. Or the same. JoAnne that was calling yourself and that it seemed that the manager was a different JoAnne also named Joann this is getting way too complicated I'd just be using it once I said. In a mean spirited way she just I don't know any joke way asset in Sydney joined you'd better just dummy to sentence what I said. Just tell me to send your thinking at the JoAnne and I can assess whether we can put it in cookie. Her OK like how happy happy happy birthday had set. Well that would be the word. Self not asked dash dash dash I NG correct TI announced I was getting the wilders. To hand we do CDS were too. I was such in her deal it was just a cookie that's like I said well that you went in a very friendly tone until you let. We wouldn't wanna do it but I suppose we could do with. Oh thank you I told they're feeling relieved as long as it's a friendly caffeine and not cussing someone out join cautioned absolutely I said a friendly I think thank you thank you so much and I don't. So that would have been the barely under the wire winner of the search for personal personal as cookies but for the fact that we have. Can be Baker's right here in Portland at 63 hundreds of these Foster local maker of fortune cookies. I will imitate the woman who answered because it would sound like I was in an unkind impressions just imagine. Do you make personalized fortune cookies they're asked your own fortune yes she says it all fortune all fortune cookie. Can you write your own I asked carefully OAS hero and you write we put inside of them said. I'm okay I said in the fortune say anything or are there are some words you're not allowed to use like profanity. Inside cookie who owns that your own fortune paperwork. What about a hard dirty words I say no on paper very clean the woman assured me now I said read my brain profanity like curse for its passports. Arm backwards you know passports. Like the effort now all it's okay the woman felt like we. Don't care you still words app works OK you're right we just put a T all words. Fine. I couldn't agree more I wouldn't seek his company up for that reason I would because they're 27 years local fresh baked and crate in a renowned. So fulfillment it seems is to be found in one's own backyard and that's a slogan fit for fortune cookie. Maybe you were can be found once the backyard as well this is your local Entertainment Tonight ninety for seven or consultant.